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I will not just be attending this year's Anime Weekend Atlanta (AWA), but will also be selling some of my artwork! Exciting, yes? Or, at least it is supposed to be.
I've been trying my hardest to improve as an artist, not just enhancing my skills but also my creativity. Lots of self inflicted misery has crippled parts of my more imaginative mind, so creating works for this convention has been more than difficult. Meditating on brighter things, exercising rather than moping, eating healthier has helped with my overwhelming depression and has allowed me more energy to focus on trying my hardest not just as a person, but someone who inspires to be something more than a self conscious artist who only dreams of being noticed; I want to be more than just a dreamer, but an initiator.
Being given a booth at an anime convention is a small thing, but something that could help put me on the path of larger things, allow me the chance to sample what it is like to actually be noticed rather than blending into the usual mundane background that I've grown far too used to.
So, CONGRATULATIONS to me for finally making a step forwards rather than backwards.
I've been trying my hardest to improve as an artist, not just enhancing my skills but also my creativity. Lots of self inflicted misery has crippled parts of my more imaginative mind, so creating works for this convention has been more than difficult. Meditating on brighter things, exercising rather than moping, eating healthier has helped with my overwhelming depression and has allowed me more energy to focus on trying my hardest not just as a person, but someone who inspires to be something more than a self conscious artist who only dreams of being noticed; I want to be more than just a dreamer, but an initiator.
Being given a booth at an anime convention is a small thing, but something that could help put me on the path of larger things, allow me the chance to sample what it is like to actually be noticed rather than blending into the usual mundane background that I've grown far too used to.
So, CONGRATULATIONS to me for finally making a step forwards rather than backwards.
Finding Oneself
I have been experiencing a "dry-spell" for some time now; everything just sort of feels meaningless. Every time I sit down to draw nothing comes, there is no longer a spark of inspiration to drive me to create something real.
Trying and going nowhere is infuriating, and I'm not sure how to fix whatever this is. I think it has more to do with the fact that I've lost more than my imagination, but a piece of myself that drove me to create in the first place: misery.
I was miserable for so long that all I knew how to draw was misery, and now that I'm happy and actually have a life worth living and working for, there is nothing for me to draw.
Going Professional-AWA
My cute, little business card for Anime Weekend Atlanta. I am extremely excited to have this opportunity, but I am terrified by the concept of failure; this is the first time I have ever put my image out there in a manner of merchandise. I hope I can do this.
12 Day and counting... AWA Artist Alley
Only 12 more days until this year's AWA. I'm excited, nervous, stressed, panicked... all of the above times ten. Between school, boyfriend, and the tragic loss of my best friend, things have been an extremely hectic pile of crap. I've always been told that "things will work out" or "get better," though every time things do "get better," another pile of horse shit gets flung my way. Crudely presented, yes, but the most accurate description of my emotions in this present moment. But, I'm sure I will make it through like I have with every situation pushed my way. AWA will proceed and succeed magnificently, everything in the world will be better.
y. 2013
Pillow pulled close to my chest, ends of feathers gently poking their way through the fabric lightly scraping my chin. Another year... of this, of sitting, of waiting, of working, practicing, only to produce eighteen works worth nothing to the world. Sigh, it escapes my lips, lips hardened from lack of water, lack of sleep, lack of conversation.
Four days stand in the way of another year, another year of sitting, of waiting, of working, practicing... only to get nowhere. "Tch..." My teeth clench, brow furrowed at the thought of potentially becoming nothing more than a husk of wasted effort. 'What am I doing?'
Lips pouting, pulling the pillo
© 2013 - 2024 shy-octopie
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